Not An Elephant

People have been telling me that to forgive and forget is a desirable trait since I can remember. Later on in life, it hasn't changed, but the "people" are inevitably the people that I'm supposed to forgive and what they did are what I'm supposed to forget about. Most things are easy to forgive and forget, but it's never about the easy ones, is it? It's always the big ones that matter and affect you more than you think it has.

For example, you can forgive someone for making a mistake and doing something that breaks your trust. The question then becomes, how do you forget that it happened? How is it so easy for everyone else to forget that the last time you depended on this person for something that mattered, it didn't happen?

What happens when the thing that's supposed to be forgotten is the complete breakdown of everything you've based your life on? There are some intangible things that you build your life on and around, take for granted, depend on, assume with an unshakable faith that it will be there when you need it. How do you forget the time that you reached for it and it wasn't?

I've learned to forgive the hurt, but how do you forget how much it hurt? How do you assume it wasn't just a lie?

The Myth of the High Standard

It being Valentine's Day, I think it's only natural for the mind to turn to coupling. And, of course, the eternal question, "Where's your boyfriend?". The assumption by most is that I have high standards. Do I really? Honestly, I don't think so. I may talk the talk, but I don't really expect my boyfriends to spend lavishly on me or to take me jetsetting. I don't really expect very much. Yet, here I sit, boyfriend-less. Do I really have high standards?

The Standards:

1. My boyfriend won't lie to me (at least when it counts), because I wouldn't lie to him.
2. The girlfriend isn't outranked by anyone except family. Don't forget, we're talking about a long-term relationship here.
3. My boyfriend will remember my birthday. It's not that hard.
4. When I'm angry or upset, my boyfriend will hold me and tell me that he loves me. Same goes with when I'm insecure, hormonal, depressed, etc. It's a failsafe that works for all occasions. You know why? Because not one ex-boyfriend has ever done this for me.
5. My boyfriend wants me around.

When I tried to list that down, it was pretty hard to come up with 5, but there it is and I think the list is complete. I can't speak for other women, but I personally don't need anything more than these 5 things from my partner.

I don't think the standards are very high. They're not high expectations for anyone other than a child or a family pet, but still the only person I've ever met who hit all 5 wasn't even a boyfriend. Maybe that was my mistake.