Friday 6 June 2008

52 year old virgin

I probably shouldn't laugh at his misfortune, but from NST: First time 'sex' on video makes FELDA settlers see red:

GEMAS: A Felda settler who made recordings of his sexual acts with a woman for his "own viewing pleasure" is in big trouble after the clips were widely circulated and ended up in the hands of the police.

The 52-year-old settler and his "partner", a 21-year-old woman, were arrested by police and are expected to be charged in the Sessions Court and Syariah Court soon.

The man had sought the help of a 21-year-old friend to record the sexual acts in a hut in a rubber plantation at Felda Jelai 3 early last month. The friend used his mobile phone to record the deed.

The recordings, under the title "Budak Jolai" (Budak Jelai), were circulated via Bluebooth and multimedia messaging service (MMS) to almost every settler in Felda Jelai 3 who had a mobile phone.

There were three recordings showing the man having sexual intercourse with the woman, believed to be from Felda Jelai 4. The man had allegedly paid the woman RM20 to buy a prepaid reload card for her mobile phone as "payment" for her role in the 10-minute recording.

But that's not the best part. The best part is this:

Sources also said that upon questioning, the 52-year-old told police that it was the first time he had sexual intercourse with a woman.

Ha. The poor guy. He just wanted his first time to be memorable.

Thursday 5 June 2008

Dear Gayboy

Dear Gayboy,

I always knew that boys would break my heart. I just didn't think it would be you. Knowing that someone you care about doesn't care about you is bad enough when it comes from a person you thought were a real friend.

Allow me to inform you of what you lost. It was an unconditional friendship. 12 years of unconditional friendship. You threw that away because you were too lazy to pick up the phone and call me. That was the price of my friendship.

It's not a case of being able to wait until I get over whatever rampage I'm on. It's a case of you causing irretrievable pain and hurt that has been caused. And now, it's all over.

P.S.: You're so vain, I bet you think this entry is about you.

Inflasi Sifar My Butt

Remember the days when the government held an Inflasi Sifar (zero inflation) campaign? Man, those were the days... when the government cared about inflation.

I foresee a period of unprecedented inflation about to hit Malaysia. The impact on the economy? Who knows? But any idiot can see that an across the board increase in all essentials (petrol, staple foods, electricity and gas) will cause high levels of inflation. Especially when the increases are astronomical. 40%? Jesus. Then again, the government has never heard of small increases spread out over a few years to give the people time to internalise. Nope.

At least if they'd approved the minimum wage, more people would have more money to complain about the prices with. Logically it would result in a less jarring impact on the economy. People say that you can't implement a minimum wage, but I say that's wrong. It's possible, but there are many issues that have to be dealt with. I wanted to write a paper on it back when I was an undergraduate, but well, life got in a way.

In a nutshell, here's how to implement a minimum wage effectively:

  1. Migration Reform: Step up border patrol so that illegal immigration is actually difficult. Implement constant checks on labour-intensive businesses to check for illegal immigrants. Tighten migration laws. This will take a few years to effectively implement.
  2. Employment Laws: Gear employment laws towards citizens (not bumiputra).
  3. Assess minimum wage levels. In Malaysia, it's probably best to have a much lower minimum wage for migrant-intensive businesses, e.g. maid services.
  4. Rollout.

Take that, ineffective government.

Wednesday 4 June 2008

pixelparty

So Geekologie pointed me to pixelparty who makes super awesome retro stuff. Such as:


I love how you can find stuff like this on the internets. Me, I want a pair of power-up mushroom cufflinks. Sigh. Maybe if I didn't move out and decide that I could do it on my own.

Seriously. I'd much rather pay for something like this than a personality-less overpriced plastic piece of crap that xxx xxxxxx was seen wearing last week.

I Survived 2008

That's the t-shirt that I'm going to be wearing 1 January 2009. Looking back at the blog entries in the first 2 months of 2008, it seemed pretty great. Too good. Like I was just waiting for the drop. Life was too perfect.

And then it came. Then it got a little better. And then it got worse. And worse. And just didn't stop getting worse.

Some mild consolation is that I'm not the only one. I haven't been able to find someone who's able to tell me that yes, 2008 is a pretty good year for them. Nobody. It's like 2008 is the year of reckoning or something.

I mean, certainly no one in China or Myanmar is having a good time. Malaysia either. Friends in America are experiencing a horrible economy. Africa's just always got problems. What the hell?

So I plan to print out an 'I Survived 2008' t-shirt for myself to wear on 1 January 2009, wherever in the world I will be at the time. Care to join me?

Men

There isn't a man in the world that won't break your heart.

Tuesday 3 June 2008

The Datin Illusion

The Illusion:

Having been born and raised in Malaysia, I'm well aware of the connotations associated with the word "Datin". Being a "Datin" means that a lady is a diva in the worst sense. Being a "Datin" means a lady is arrogant and selfish, ridiculously extravagant and a snob.

Today I'd like to shed some light on the Plight of the Datin.

The Truth:

The atypical Datin got the raw end of the deal. They were born in a time when The Careerwoman was not yet born, and they were expected by their families, friends and husbands to stay home and take care of the household. They bore children and gave their lives to their kids, being the driver from day to night. They ran the household, making sure there was always food on the table for the husband, and supported the husband in his career.

The Datin is never taken seriously. As the children grow older, they place no value on the Datin's opinion. The husband considers the Datin his intellectual inferior in worldly matters, because how would she know? She doesn't work. The Datin's careerwomen friends look on her with slight pity because she will never know what it is to understand politics and business.

When the husband becomes a Datuk, the Datin finally has a sense of pride. Her job was to support her husband and help him make his way in the world. The acknowledgement of his success in his field was acknowledgement of her success. Hence the phrase, "Call me Datin".

The Modern Datin:

The Datin must have the most frustrating life. In today's world, choosing to be a housewife is looked down on, but it's the most selfless career in the world. They ensure the well-being of their families before their own. Once that choice is made, they're never again taken seriously, and their opinions are considered uninformed.

Today's Datins are the driving force behind social work in Malaysia. With their kids all grown up, they have time to themselves and look for someone to take them seriously. These ladies set up charitable funds, organise fund-raisers and awareness campaigns, and help the most needy of Malaysians in the most remote parts of Malaysia. Social rights are truly a luxury good.

The Plight:

And yet, Datins are still considered useless and arrogant.

The reason I put this up is because lately I've tried putting myself in other people's shoes (whichI think I may have done too successfully), and I found myself in my mum's. Her children are ridiculously ungrateful, and her husband is always placed on a pedestal with her far behind. She's barely been recognised for her social efforts which have been amazing for one person, and her efforts at home even less so. People still look down on her because she wouldn't know. She's a Datin.

My superior now has a major chip on her shoulder. She's done things like emergency response to natural disasters, and now nobody is good enough. Social initiatives involving those who are better off are automatically put down and sneered upon, and she laughs at the women who want to be called Datin as a point of pride.

If she were born two generations before, I can't imagine how she'd survive.

Sunday 1 June 2008

The New Hippie Generation

From PostSecret

It's good to know that it's not just me that feels that way. I sincerely feel that we're the most socially conscious generation since the hippies, if not more. We're armed with the same sense of belonging and responsibility, but armed with the knowledge to make a difference. Let's see what happens.

Worst Pick-up Lines Ever

This may turn out to be a continuously updated post. Worst pick-up lines ever used on me as of last night:

1. The Uptight Line

Him: Why are you so uptight? Is this how you pick up guys?
Me: Such a stupid statement... too many comebacks... brain overload...

2. The Gay Line

Him: Do I look gay?
Me: YES!
Him: That means I'm good-looking, right?
Me: NO!
Him: But all good-looking guys are gay.
Me: NO!
Him: Oh... okay...