A few weeks ago, a school teacher married a 14-year old girl (Source: The Star). Of course, the government and a female minister (heaven forbid it be a male minister) retaliated. More shockingly, earlier in the year, a man took an 11-year-old as his fourth wife (Source: The Star). The government promised to look into it (Source: The Star). And quite surprisingly, they actually did!
You know what the verdict was? It is this:
The marriage of an 11-year-old Muslim girl to a 41-year-old man has been ruled illegal in Malaysia. An Islamic court judge found the father of the child had had no intention of marrying her off, and that there were elements of threat and force involved.You must be wondering what my damage is. Why am I getting uptight about this? Here's the thing.
(Source: BBC News)
The response from the Malaysian people was deplorable. The response from the government was from "the government". Nobody took ownership. The only one who did was a woman minister. Some have even come forward to support the marriage of the 14-year-old, and of course, it was a man (Source: The Malay Mail).
Malaysian men seem to not understand that girls at the age of 14 are just that: they're girls. When I was 14, I was young and impressionable, though I would never have admitted it. At that age, I wanted to impress people with how adult and mature I was, and I would have done plenty of things that I wouldn't do now to impress people. At the age of 14, you don't know when you're making a mistake.
When I was 14, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I'm 26 now, and I'm still trying to figure it out. I know people in their mid-30s who still don't know it yet. You think a 14-year-old knows what she wants?
By no means am I belittling her intelligence. She could be very smart and actually ready for this, but she sets a dangerous precedent for other girls her age who are easily talked into things like this. If her parents are not on their guard, if her dad reacts the way Muzli Mohd Din did, who will save her? The Shari'ah court? Hah!
Of course, everybody remembers the case of Bung Mokhtar and Zizie. How they married illegally, and all they had to do was pay RM1,000 (Source: The Star). That was all. A slap on the wrist for putting Bung Mokhtar's family through the shame of finding out that their dad is an ass through the public media.
Men in Malaysia will never stand up for the rights of women in marriage. Our good Minister of Women, Family and Community Development, while she tries, will never overstep her bounds as a Minister of UMNO first and foremost, and the protector of women's rights second.
The result is that men can marry illegally with impunity. Nevermind that by Syari'ah law, they need the permission of their first wives. My damage is that. Exactly that. That men can marry illegally, and when they're brought to the public, the public says, "well, it's his right". It's not his right. It's his privilege. It's a privilege that must be earned, by being wise and caring and fair.
What about his family? What about his kids? If you think you have the balls to have 2 women, then why don't you have the balls to tell your family and kids about it? Why don't they have enough respect for their family to tell them face-to-face instead of having the rest of the world talking about it behind their backs? Why let them find out from the media or from other people? Why hide it? Hiding it means they know it's wrong.
So, of course, the decision of the Syari'ah court wasn't published in Malaysian newspapers. I had to find out about it through BBC News, because Malaysians wouldn't really care about that. Would they?
