It's all about the news

From BBC: Lions devour man at SA game lodge:

A South African man has been killed and eaten by lions at a game lodge where he worked 150km (90 miles) west of Johannesburg, police say.

Samuel Boosen, 36, was attacked after entering the enclosure on Tuesday where an estimated nine lions were kept.

"Only his spine and skull remained," police spokesman Lesego Metsi told the South Africa Press Association.

Holy crap.

From BBC: The curse of the meddling parent:

Helicopter parents" who "hyperactively intervene" in the lives of their offspring could damage their children's job prospects, a careers expert says.

Parents are increasingly involved in their children's university and even career choices, Liverpool University's head of careers and employability says.

In a blog for the Guardian website, Dr Redmond describes the five different types of "helicopter parents" that now characterise England's higher education system.

They are:

The Agent Having an Agent helicopter parent is like having Max Clifford working for you round the clock-for free. They operate like a footballer's agent: fixing deals, arranging contracts, smoothing out local difficulties. It's the Agent's job to represent his or her client at events which, for whatever reason, the client feels are simply too tedious to attend.

The Banker Accessible online, face-to-face or via a personal hotline, the Banker is unique in the world of financial services for charging no APR, asking few if any questions, expecting no collateral, and being psychologically inclined to say "yes" no matter how illogical or poorly articulated the request. The Banker is also resigned to never seeing loans repaid.

The White Knight Imbued with an almost semi-mythical status, the White Knight parent appears at little to no notice to resolve awkward situations. Once resolved, the White Knight will fade anonymously into the background. Intervention is accomplished silently and with minimum fuss.

The Bodyguard The primary function of the Bodyguard is to protect the client from a range of embarrassing social situations - such as cancelling appointments and soaking up complaints on behalf of their client. Particularly skilled in constructing elaborate excuses. When not protecting life, limb and reputation, doubles up as a chauffeur and personal assistant.

The Black Hawk Named after the military helicopter, and dreaded by teachers and educational administrators, the Black Hawk is unique among helicopter parents due to their willingness to go to any lengths - legal or illegal - to give their offspring a positional advantage over any competition. Particularly lethal when elected to parent-teacher associations.

Terasa.

From BBC: Single trader behind oil record:

The man behind the record rise in oil prices to $100 a barrel was a lone trader, seeking bragging rights and a minute of fame, market watchers say.

A single trader bid up the price by buying a modest lot and then sold it immediately at a loss, they claim.

Selfish bastard. No regard for the world's economy.

From BBC: Tata closes in on Jaguar takeover:

Ford has confirmed that India's Tata Motors will be the likely buyer of its UK-based Jaguar and Land Rover brands.

The US giant said it is now committed to negotiations "at a more detailed level" with Tata over the sale.

India best not screw this up.

From The Star: Probe team visits hotel:

BATU PAHAT: A seven member forensic team from the federal police headquarters visited a four-star hotel here Thursday to investigate the scene where the sex DVD which featured Health Minister Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek was purportedly filmed.

Heaven forbid they spend their time solving murders and rapes or anything. Seven people? CSI only needs like three.

From The Star: Pay extra for MAS tickets:

PETALING JAYA: Air travellers will have to pay extra when they purchase Malaysia Airlines tickets from travel agents in Malaysia because the national carrier has scrapped commission payment to the agencies under a new marketing plan.

Passengers will have to pay at least 5% of the ticket price but it could be even more if they pay by credit card or the travel agents deliver the ticket.

Yes. That will improve your customer base. Alienate your agents. That's right.

One for the underdogs

I remember reading this when it first came out. I remember laughing for ages. I remember sending the link to everyone on MSN at the time. I remember emailing the article to everyone I could think of on the spot. I remember going around telling Indian men to look on BBC for a revelation regarding Indian men for about a week. Mostly, I remember laughing a lot.

That was before this blog. Now it seems like fate that the article made it once more to the top of the "Most e-mailed" list. Here it is, in all its glory.

From BBC: Condoms 'too big' for Indian men:

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.

The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Ah yes. Good times. The article goes on to say things along the lines of "It's not size, it's what you do with it that matters" and their population proves that Indian men are doing pretty well and so on and so forth.

Also, who says being fat doesn't save lives? From BBC: Giant knickers put out house fire:

A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire.

Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton pants were a lifesaver when they were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Meryl Gardens, Hartlepool, Teesside.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out.

Size 18-20. Holy crap.

The resignation

From NST: Chua resigns:

MCA Vice-President Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek has resigned as Health Minister, and from all party posts as well as MP for Labis, with immediate effect.

Dr Chua, 61, made the announcement himself at a press conference held at the ministry at 3.35pm.Yesterday, at a press conference in Labis, Johor, he apologised to Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, Cabinet ministers, party leaders and his wife and family for what had happened.

He also described the woman who appeared in the videotape engaging in sexual acts with him as his personal friend and that he did not make the recording himself.

Damn. I wanted to see how far this could go. He should have stayed in office just to see how unconservative Malaysians can be. It's never been pushed before. Oh well. Respect to him for owning up to it. And I hope that this wasn't how his wife found out about his mistress.

Malaysia makes it into BBC's 'Most Read'

I didn't even know this was happening. I was having too much of a blissful time in Sabah. BBC: Sex DVDs show Malaysian minister was in the BBC's Most Read list. Awesome.

Malaysian Health Minister Chua Soi Lek has admitted that he is the man who features in two widely circulated DVDs of an unmarried couple having sex.

He said he had apologised to the prime minister and other ruling party leaders but would not resign, and his own wife and children had accepted his apology.

Mr Chua said he had taken no part in the making of the DVD recordings, one of them
said to be almost an hour long.

The video is CCTV footage taken in a hotel, according to one newspaper.

Let's see what the reaction is like. Apparently this story only broke yesterday. It's so new that Malaysiakini has no damning article on the issue yet. I really do have a lot of respect for him for having come clean about something like that, especially in a country like Malaysia and with the local politicians being known for abusing their power to cover up something like this.

And this is just mean. From NST: 30 couples held over khalwat:

KUANTAN: State Islamic Religious Department enforcement officers had a busy time here early yesterday when they picked up nearly 30 couples for khalwat (close proximity).

Six underage girls were among them.In an operation which lasted from midnight until dawn, the officers raided several budget hotels around town following tip-offs of unmarried Muslim couples spending the night there after the New Year Eve celebrations.

Five Muslim men caught consuming alcohol were also nabbed in the operation, which involved 30 officers.

Just another reason to move to Sabah, where I can blend in with the (real) natives. And one more for the road. From BBC: Malaysia reverses Allah paper ban:

The Malaysian government has reversed a decision to ban a Christian newspaper using the word Allah to refer to God.

The government had threatened to refuse to give the Weekly Herald a publishing permit if it continued to use the word.

The paper's editor said the word had long been used by Christians to refer to God in the Malay language.

The ruling was immediately condemned by civil rights and Christian groups in Malaysia, who said it infringed their right to practice their religion.

But Malaysia's internal security department demanded the word be removed, saying only Muslims could use it.

'Over-zealous ministers'

Now the government has back-tracked.

In a fax to the Herald's editor, the government says it will get its 2008 permit, with no conditions attached.

Father Andrew Lawrence told the BBC he was delighted, saying prayers had been answered.

He blamed politics and a general election expected here in 2008 year for what he said were the actions of a few over-zealous ministers in the Muslim-dominated Malay government.

Religious issues are highly sensitive in Malaysia, which has a 60% Muslim population.

Religious freedom is guaranteed in the law but minority groups have accused the Muslim Malay majority of trying to increase the role of Islam in the country.

This is even meaner. In fact, this is downright inhumane. From BBC: Kenyans burned to death in church:

Thirty Kenyans including many children have been burned to death in a church, after seeking refuge from the mounting violence over last week's elections.

A mob set fire to the church in Eldoret where many people from President Mwai Kibaki's Kikuyu tribe were sheltering.

The Kenyan government has accused supporters of opposition leader Raila Odinga of carrying out "ethnic cleansing" against the Kikuyu.

Both President Kibaki and Mr Odinga have called for the killing to stop.

An estimated 250 people have died in the violence that erupted following the controversial re-election of President Kibaki, according to police and journalists across the country.

About 400 people were said to be taking refuge in the Kenya Assemblies of God church when the attack took place at about 1000 (0700 GMT).

A pastor from the church, Jackson Nyanga, told the BBC that many of the people were beaten before the building was set on fire.

"After torching the church, children died - around 25 in number - four elderly people. And our men and our people who tried to confront them were injured," he said.

This is disturbing no matter where you are in the world. I get that historically, political change has always been preceded by violence, and that the world's most (relatively) successful democracies have been created on violence, but still. Didn't we leave the barbaric era behind us? Or did we just create whole new ways to be barbarians?

6 perfect dives

Best way to ring in the new year ever. Seriously.

The trip to Semporna, Sabah was awesome like you wouldn't believe. Like I kept telling GNN, it's a whole new level of happiness. It was 2 days of diving 6 absolutely perfect dives. Great visibility, fish everywhere.

Highlights:

1. I became an advanced open water diver.
2. I high-fived a turtle that was swimming by.
3. Anini went missing for 2 minutes and gave me a panic attack underwater.
4. I back-rolled off the boat into the water only to find that I'd forgotten to turn on the gas tank.
5. Whoren wanted to flash the local boys.
6. Bunty playing make-believe that her golden sword was her Golden Sword.
7. Whoren doing somersaults in the water.
8. We went into an underwater cave.
9. We saw sharks.
10. We spent all our time hanging off the side of the boat.
11. I had the hots for a cowboy.
12. Bunty got harassed by some souldjah boys.
13. We got harassed by some Saga boys.

I know I said this about Pai as well, but this time it's not a backup plan. It really is what I think I want to do. I'm so serious about this that I've been working out the kinks in my head, namely how long I'd have to stay in banking before I can leave but still be secure in knowing that I'm experienced enough to get a job if it doesn't work out, or how I'm gonna pull it off if (much) later on, I decide to settle down and have kids.

Incidently, I'm so efficient that I've completed a 2008 resolution in 2007. New resolution for 2008: Get as close to being a Dive Master as I can.